Josh, my New York Friend of 35 years

I met Josh in 1977, through his cousin Russet who was my roommate in Greenwich Village. He invited both of us to dinner at his place around the corner. A half hour before dinner he called and said it would better if we had the dinner at our place, his was too disorganized. (No kidding!) This was the beginning of a friendship of 35 years.

We would travel together, through Sandinista Nicaragua, through the highlands and Mayan ruins of Guatemala, and to the Amazon of Brazil. Naturally we had countless New York restaurant dinners together, always quibbling over the menu. I always wanted to eat my own dish, he always wanted to share everybody else's. I would order one dish and he would say, oh good, that's what I wanted, so now I can order something else. (So he could share mine.) Out of self-defense I would change my order at the last moment, after we had already ordered. It became a game.    

Brewster, his beloved country place, has always been special to me. I was with Josh when he first looked at it, some 30 years ago, before he bought it. I was part of the weekend-long house painting party that soon followed. After that, he and I spent many many weekends there together, cooking, reading, going for walks, and quibbling like an old married couple. Those were the days when we both single, of which sometimes there were many. He saw quite a few of my boyfriends come and disappear again, I saw quite a few of his girlfriends do the same. When I married he was a witness to the wedding. Michael, my husband, sometimes called him his brother-in-law. 

Once we had a severely ill canary, a pet we had and loved for many years. He needed very intensive treatment for some time that required two people to administer, and part of that time I had to be out of town. So Josh came over every evening after the lab to be the visiting nurse. (The bird pulled through.) Other times, this bird and subsequent birds we had were boarded with Josh when we traveled, and sometimes even at Josh's lab. Everybody at the lab got involved. We shared this love of birds.

In recent years we saw each other less since we were away from New York so much, for many months at a time. But there were still these elaborate dinners, at our house, and, naturally, in Brewster, where no recipe was ever repeated. Except that grilled asparagus. (That had been my discovery....) At Brewster everybody could always invite or bring along anybody else they wanted. There was always room at the table for one more. Or five more. Dogs included. I remember countless 4th of July parties at Chez Wallman, and I was at around 30 of his Thanksgivings in the past 35 years. The last one was just a few months ago. 

The day after he died I told Valerie I thought she was the best thing that ever happened to Josh. She said, "on the contrary, he taught me how to live". He taught many people many things. It comforts me a lot to know that Valerie is nearby now. Family. Through Valerie, I feel, Josh's life will continue. And I hope to spend a lot more time with her, if she lets me.

Good bye, Josh, my friend, see you around.

Beate ("Beatita")